Monday, March 23, 2009
How We Met
When I decided to become a surrogate mother, I hardly knew where to start. There is so much information in the world of surrogacy and it was so overwhelming! I started out putting my name in with an agency. Agencies are often easier to deal with, especially for first time surros, because they do all the work for you. I was all for that! So, that's where I started. I also joined a surrogate message board, which was and is wonderful! It has taught me a lot and you meet so many people on there with lots of advice! I began to personally advertise myself, outside of the agency that is, and began getting ad responses, but nothing was coming of it. Around August 2008 I began talking to another surrogate who was out of Georgia. She led me to a wonderful lawyer who could help me with my individual needs in surrogacy should I match with a couple independently as well as even possibly matching me with a couple. As I spoke to this lawyer (I will refer to her as R), I was very impressed. She was very kind and compassionate and I could tell she was very sincere. She liked what I had to tell her and decided she wanted to meet me in person as she had some couples that were looking for surrogates but she wanted to get to know me personally so she could find the best match for me. Well, she did just that. She told me about this couple, P & K, that she felt would work well with me, or visa versa. :) They had just contacted her very recently that they wanted to start looking for a surrogate. As she told me about their situation, I knew that they had to be the ones for us. I just felt it in my heart. After my first meeting with R, we set another meeting with Shane, myself, R & a couple or two. Turns out, the first and only couple she had available that day was P & K. It was awkward as we didn't know where to start. lol However, once we got started it was amazing. I knew within 10 minutes of our hour and a half long conversation that we would be "working" together. Sure enough, once we had talked about everything we wanted to talk about, we agreed to work together and get started. It was a total God-thing: I never heard from the agency, none of the ad responses worked out, I was put in contact with R at the same time that P & K began contacting her and R thought we were a perfect match! How cool and awesome is that!? I love how God works!!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
So what is surrogacy all about??
I want to tell you more about my journey so far, but I thought it might be helpful to first explain surrogacy. I know most of us have "heard" of surrogacy and in a nutshell know that a woman carries a baby for another woman right? Yes, but there's so much more to it and I get lots of questions (which I don't mind by the way) and thought I would try to explain it to some extent.
There are many aspects to surrogacy, but I'm just going to explain my situation and the choice I've gone with. I have chosen to be a Gestational Surrogate. What this means is that I will carry the baby, but have no genetic link. My intended mother (aka, the mother in which this baby will be carried for) unfortunately has no viable eggs of her own, so she has to find an egg donor. However, her husband will be the biological father. In this situation, what will happen is they will retrieve the egg donor's egg (she will be anonymous and never personally know the intended parents in this situation) and the father's sperm and fertilize in the lab. Once they get two good embryos, they will then transfer them into my uterus. I am simply the oven.
No, there is no sex between husband and surrogate!! At least not in normal surrogate situations. lol It's sad I have to say that, because it does happen that way unfortunately, but I can only answer for my choices. :)
Well, this one was short, sweet and to the point, but I hope answered some questions for you, at least pertaining to me. I will be back soon to tell you more about my journey!!
There are many aspects to surrogacy, but I'm just going to explain my situation and the choice I've gone with. I have chosen to be a Gestational Surrogate. What this means is that I will carry the baby, but have no genetic link. My intended mother (aka, the mother in which this baby will be carried for) unfortunately has no viable eggs of her own, so she has to find an egg donor. However, her husband will be the biological father. In this situation, what will happen is they will retrieve the egg donor's egg (she will be anonymous and never personally know the intended parents in this situation) and the father's sperm and fertilize in the lab. Once they get two good embryos, they will then transfer them into my uterus. I am simply the oven.
No, there is no sex between husband and surrogate!! At least not in normal surrogate situations. lol It's sad I have to say that, because it does happen that way unfortunately, but I can only answer for my choices. :)
Well, this one was short, sweet and to the point, but I hope answered some questions for you, at least pertaining to me. I will be back soon to tell you more about my journey!!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Hello! My name is Alyson and this is my first blog ever. :) To introduce myself, I am a 28-year old mother of two and married to my wonderful husband for 9 years, yesterday. My life is very sporatic and ever-changing. In the 9 years of being married, we can say we've done many different things. In the process God has shown us and taught us a lot! We have grown in Him and learned how to live in the freedom that He gives us! I never plan out tomorrow for it's in His hands and He may call us to do something totally out of the blue and we're open to say yes and go! For a year and a half, my family moved out of our house into a camper on a Christian camp in which my husband worked as the assistant director. What a great time we had and a lot God had to teach us. Near the end of our time at the camp, in which God called us all in different directions, God began to talk to me about being a surrogate mom. I will get to that in a minute. I'm gonna go back a little:
When Shane and I decided to start trying to have a baby, I figured we'd have no problem. I was wrong. It took us a year and two miscarriages to finally get pregnant with Roman. Hmmm, some of you might say, "Only one year? Who cares? We've been trying for years and we can't get pregnant." Trust me....I know. That was nothing compared to what many endure, but God had to teach me patience and how to trust in Him and gave me a very minute feeling of what it's like to not be able to have a baby. We were scared we would be that couple who couldn't have babies. Thank you Jesus that He gave us Roman. [Now, to go back a little further, in my late teens and early 20's I worked as a C.N.A in the Labor & Delivery part of the hospital for about three years and then as an LPN in an OB/GYN office for six months. It was there that I learned what I needed to know to have my own children.] After Roman, I found out I was pregnant with Seth one year later, which was a surprise. So, obviously my fertility issue was a short, one time deal. With my boys, I had wonderful, problem-free pregnancies. I loved being pregnant! Sure, I had the normal aches, pains, fatigue, morning sickness, swelling and the list goes on. However, I still loved it all! Those things are normal and I was perfectly fine with it. I was having my babies!! What better blessing could God have given me!? Then came the deliveries. I made up in my mind that I was going to have natural, drug free births. Once again, God blessed me and my decision and determination, for it was through conviction from Him that I made that decision anyway. Both of their deliveries were problem free and very smooth. Did it hurt? YES!!!!! Ha! Very bad, but I knew that was what I wanted and I'd do it over and over again that way. Experiencing childbirth in that way for me was the most wonderful thing! It was later that I realized just how truly blessed I was. Watching my sisters have much harder times with their deliveries was what made me realize that. Their deliveries were not so smooth. I began to think about all the deliveries I had seen while working in L&D and also realized that my experience was rare. I LOVED giving birth! I told my husband that if I could have babies and just give them away, I would! Little did I know what that statement would mean later.
Now, not long after Seth was born, I just happened to read an article on surrogacy. It was very interesting and my knowledge on surrogacy before I read that was very small. It really struck me and I thought that maybe that would be something I'd be interested in one day, but it stopped there. A few years later, bringing us back to the ending of our time at camp, I came across surrogacy again, which made me start thinking about it. I began to really do some research and then took it to my husband. As we talked about it and I helped him understand it, we began to realize that maybe it was something I should do. The more we talked & thought about it, we decided to pray about it. What God showed me was that my childbirth experiences were gifts and blessings! He showed me that gifts and blessings are not given for us to hold onto, but to turn around and use for others. I began to realize the selfishness I would have if I did not use this for someone else, so I decided to jump in and go for it. My husband will tell you that he doesn't understand the feeling I have, but he knows that if God is leading me to do it, then I must and he is in full support of it. God has also put him at full peace about it.
Back in September, God put us in touch with a wonderful couple who we are working with and will carry their baby. I will be back soon to start talking about this great journey.....be sure to tune in. :)
When Shane and I decided to start trying to have a baby, I figured we'd have no problem. I was wrong. It took us a year and two miscarriages to finally get pregnant with Roman. Hmmm, some of you might say, "Only one year? Who cares? We've been trying for years and we can't get pregnant." Trust me....I know. That was nothing compared to what many endure, but God had to teach me patience and how to trust in Him and gave me a very minute feeling of what it's like to not be able to have a baby. We were scared we would be that couple who couldn't have babies. Thank you Jesus that He gave us Roman. [Now, to go back a little further, in my late teens and early 20's I worked as a C.N.A in the Labor & Delivery part of the hospital for about three years and then as an LPN in an OB/GYN office for six months. It was there that I learned what I needed to know to have my own children.] After Roman, I found out I was pregnant with Seth one year later, which was a surprise. So, obviously my fertility issue was a short, one time deal. With my boys, I had wonderful, problem-free pregnancies. I loved being pregnant! Sure, I had the normal aches, pains, fatigue, morning sickness, swelling and the list goes on. However, I still loved it all! Those things are normal and I was perfectly fine with it. I was having my babies!! What better blessing could God have given me!? Then came the deliveries. I made up in my mind that I was going to have natural, drug free births. Once again, God blessed me and my decision and determination, for it was through conviction from Him that I made that decision anyway. Both of their deliveries were problem free and very smooth. Did it hurt? YES!!!!! Ha! Very bad, but I knew that was what I wanted and I'd do it over and over again that way. Experiencing childbirth in that way for me was the most wonderful thing! It was later that I realized just how truly blessed I was. Watching my sisters have much harder times with their deliveries was what made me realize that. Their deliveries were not so smooth. I began to think about all the deliveries I had seen while working in L&D and also realized that my experience was rare. I LOVED giving birth! I told my husband that if I could have babies and just give them away, I would! Little did I know what that statement would mean later.
Now, not long after Seth was born, I just happened to read an article on surrogacy. It was very interesting and my knowledge on surrogacy before I read that was very small. It really struck me and I thought that maybe that would be something I'd be interested in one day, but it stopped there. A few years later, bringing us back to the ending of our time at camp, I came across surrogacy again, which made me start thinking about it. I began to really do some research and then took it to my husband. As we talked about it and I helped him understand it, we began to realize that maybe it was something I should do. The more we talked & thought about it, we decided to pray about it. What God showed me was that my childbirth experiences were gifts and blessings! He showed me that gifts and blessings are not given for us to hold onto, but to turn around and use for others. I began to realize the selfishness I would have if I did not use this for someone else, so I decided to jump in and go for it. My husband will tell you that he doesn't understand the feeling I have, but he knows that if God is leading me to do it, then I must and he is in full support of it. God has also put him at full peace about it.
Back in September, God put us in touch with a wonderful couple who we are working with and will carry their baby. I will be back soon to start talking about this great journey.....be sure to tune in. :)
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